Train Wreck
by Dragon Pearl1
Summary: Watching shoujo anime with L, Light decides, is a bit like watching a train wreck.


AN: My first dive into the Death Note fandom! Huzzah! If you spot any errors, please tell me so I can fix it! Thank you for reading!

Train Wreck

This was unfair. Completely and utterly unfair. Here he was, trying his best to become the god of a new world and instead of completing that, he was chained to a monster who delighted in watching him suffer by forcing him to watch shoujo anime with him. _Shoujo anime_.

Of course, as soon as he tried protesting and insisting to that horrid, horrid creature with no dress sense at all that there were more productive things to be doing at three in the morning (like _sleep_) he had been treated with that blank, soul sucking look of his and been told flatly that if he (it, Light thought fervently, _it_, because there was no way that a human being could shove that many jelly donuts into their mouth while still staring fixated at the TV screen like that) didn't get to find out who exactly hitched up with the older twin during the Christmas ball dance, his – _its _– deductive powers would fall by eight percent. Needless to say, with the alien's unnaturally expressionless face and unfeeling black eyes (Light made a personal note to never play poker with L), there was no way at all for Light to tell if he was joking or not.

L had _better _be joking. Because after watching two straight hours of the monstrosity onscreen, the show was heinous enough to end up on Light's list of what he was banning the second he became god of the world (sweets and one letter names were also pretty high on the list). It wasn't as if Light had never watched shoujo anime before (his sister enjoyed them greatly and only turned the volume down on the condition that Light bought her some of the more lewd manga that she was too young for at the time. Light had gotten some quite strange looks buying 'Kiss Kiss Forever Mine' along with his new and improved Latin dictionary), it was more that. Actually, if Light was being honest to himself, it was everything about the stupid show. The cheesy opening. The high pitched voices (which sounded like Misa on helium – a disturbing notion indeed). The creepy animation (eyes that reminded him of a movie his sister had watched once, Bambi, he thinks it was). The lame plotline. _Everything_.

"_Why_ are you watching this?" Light asked, in a put off tone. He was not _sulking_. The new god of the world does not _sulk_. "It is so obvious that the older twin is going to end up with his childhood friend's cousin. I mean, it's so blatantly obvious that they might as well announce it with neon signs!"

"Actually, Yagami-kun, there is only a sixty seven percent chance," L replied, sipping some of his fourteen-sugar-cubed tea and reaching out with his other hand to grab another pink icing adorned cupcake. "Though there is only a twenty three percent chance, I would prefer it if the twin ended up with his childhood friend."

"And what about the other twin?" Light snapped. Deprived of his eight and a quarter hours of sleep as well as his Death Note had put him in a very bad mood. "He's in love with his twin's childhood friend as well."

L brought his left thumb up to his mouth to chew. How on earth he had managed to polish off the cupcake (_cupcakes_, Light corrected himself, _plural_. The entire plate was empty) in such a sort amount of time was a mystery that even Light could not solve. "The piano teacher is always an option as well."

"The piano teacher?" Light scoffed. "Please, I doubt she's still over her husband's death." Light frowned and slapped L's hand in midair as it tried to steal a strawberry off his plate. The strawberries were the only comfort L allowed Light at this moment, seeing as he was seated uncomfortably on scratchy carpet with crumbs in his hair (how did _that_ get there?), sweet wrappers littered around him, and chained to a sweet tooth who really shouldn't posses the intelligence he was renowned for if he can't even get the pairings right in a _shoujo_ anime. "My strawberries," Light snapped. "Get your own."

L's hand retreated and Light wondered in bewilderment how someone could look both dead and like a kicked puppy at the same time.

"There are three more episodes until the end of the series, Yagami-kun," L mentioned as soon as the ending credits (annoying ending song, Light thought maliciously) started to appear on the widescreen television. "And while no doubt the romance affairs will be revealed at the end of those episodes, I feel like turning in for the night. What do you think, Yagami-kun?"

"You're just afraid you'll be wrong," Light sneered and mentally pondered what L must have done to him for him to turn down precious hours of sleep to watch more of this train wreck. "We are going to watch this show to the end, Ryuuzaki, and we'll see who the piano teacher ends up with."

"Depriving me of my sleep," L nodded his head sagely. "Something Kira would no doubt do. Kira hates to be wrong too, Yagami-kun. Eleven percent now."

"I'm not Kira," Light rebutted, more of a habit now and they both knew it. "And I am not depriving you of your sleep. You're just afraid of being wrong."

"Twelve percent."

"Just show the next episode."


End file.
